How A Man Becomes A Gentleman: The 10 Behaviours - HILSHAREIT

Breaking

Post Top Ad

Responsive Ads Here

Saturday, April 11, 2020

How A Man Becomes A Gentleman: The 10 Behaviours

  
What’s the difference between a man and a gentleman?
The word has evolved since its beginnings in the middle ages. For several centuries, a man could not call himself a gentleman if he made his income through manual labor. But social pressures began to loosen in the 18th century, as found in this quote by writer and politician, As Richard Steele quoted: “The appellation of Gentleman is never to be affixed to a man’s circumstances, but to his behavior in them.” Today, neither your family name nor the means with which you derive your income affect your ability to claim the title, but the bar for gentleman-like behavior keeps rising. A decent person must treat people with respect, display politeness, seek consent before contact, and eschew violence in favor of a peaceful resolution. Think of those behaviors as the pre-requisites. To become a gentleman, you must exceed the minimum standard.
1. Mind your gossip
Gossip is like free porn. Once you start, it’s hard to stop. And when you finally do finish, you’ll wish you hadn’t started. You’ll never escape gossip; it’s rooted in our evolution. But the gentleman distinguishes between rumor and fact. He never speaks ill of someone behind their back. A decent person refuses to take part in disparaging gossip, but the gentleman objects to it. As stated by J.R. Vernon in 1869, “The gentleman… will not pass over that of which he disapproves.” He speaks up. He never spreads gossip to advance his social status, only to warn people of potential dangers.

2. Make others feel ridiculously comfortable
One of the nicest compliments I’ve ever received from a woman happened on a trip back from a half-marathon. A group of us were getting on a train, and she asked to sit with me. I said yes, but I must have sounded doubtful. She then added, “I feel comfortable around you.” To any of you aspiring gentleman about to scream, she’s friend-zoning you, let me put your fears to rest. I was already married. And even if I wasn’t, what women would want to date a man she didn’t feel comfortable with? It’s not just touchy-feely or inappropriate comments that make others feel uncomfortable. Over-sensitivity, high-strung behavior, and holding others to impossible standards produce the same effect. Follow these guidelines to make others feel comfortable in your presence:

  • Never touch someone (male or female) without explicit consent.
  • Allow people their personal space.
  • Don’t be so quick to point out the faults of others.
  • If someone screws up, offer honest critique and encouragement instead of rebuke.
  • Stay above the fray. Play the role of mediator.
3. Dress like you give a shit
Years back, I went on a ski trip with a bunch of friends. One of my female friends met a guy on the slopes. They hit it off, and he agreed to meet up with us in the lodge later that evening. The guy came downstairs wearing a ripped t-shirt and baggy shorts (without underwear). Maybe he thought it looked cool, but to the rest of us, it looked like he didn’t give a shit. When he sat, from a certain angle, you could see his equipment. And I’m not referring to his ski equipment. He blew his chance. Don’t spend ridiculous sums of money or dress-up for every occasion. But dress like you care enough to make a good impression.
 
4. Hold doors
As I stepped into a coffee shop this morning, the person trailing me seemed far enough away that I could allow the door to close without feeling like I committed a social faux pas. Or was he? These uncertainties stress me out, so I waited an extra three seconds and held the door for the guy. He said thank you and insisted I get in line ahead of him. Think of holding the door in both a literal and metaphorical sense. Get in the habit of letting cars merge in front of you. Allow someone to go first if they appear rushed.

None of us can claim a perfect record on all ten of these qualities, myself included. In that way, we’re always on the destination and never at the finish line. And that’s the most important rule of all. Always try and do better. That’s the true mark of a gentleman.

To read further, click on the download button below to download the PDF copy of this article.
Please don't forget to drop comments, share our article/news and subscribe or click on the FOLLOW button at the right side of the home page for updates and notification. Thank you.


No comments:

Post a Comment